UPDATE.

So here I am. Still alive. Still breathing. Here's what's been going on...some good and bad...I feel lately, the bad has outweighed the good. Which really scared me.

-School: New. Makeing friends is so much harder than I thought it would be. I am a very outgoing person, don't have any problem talking to people. It's just I feel I am growing more and more impatient as the days, and weekends go by and I am not growing closer to the people at school.

-Cheer: Tryed out. Did okay sometimes during clinic, sometimes not so well. I feel like I should have took the inititive to practice a lot more b4 to be a lot safer. Got to tryouts, 4got the tryout cheer in front of the judges. Did my best to keep smileing, but you can't make up the points for forgetting the whole cheer. Didn't make it. Very dissapointed in myself.

-Soccer: Going alright. Not as much playing time as I would like. Although my team is big, I feel I am one of the stronger players and should be moveing up like the coaches told me I would be at the beggining of the season. Frustrated thats not happening. Do I need to push more? Probably.

-ED: Body image:: Scale of 1-10, 10 being the worst it could be, 6 these past few weeks. I exercise everyday, but I feel like my body needs its norishment so I'm giveing it that, and the ED voice is talking back. I know I haven't gained weight, and I should know better than to hear that ED voice, but its always hard for me through these rougher times.


Lately, thats been it. I guess any kind of upbringing words would help at this point. I'm kind of just ranting.

much love always.

Quick Hey<3

hey everybody :]
i
hope that you all are doing alright.

its been busy for me! iv been going from school, to soccer tryouts, to homework, to hangouts with friends somedays on weekends, to remembering to fuel my body, and dealing with the discovery of new muscles, and ect. so for me overall, iv just been very busy!
i just had spring break--didnt go anywhere exotic :[[ so it wasnt too exciting, but i guess it was relaxing and i pretty much just chilled here in my hometown. im still seeing my ED therapist who also helps me with everyday struggles once a week, aswell as i am in a group with other teens.
i have cheerleading tryouts in 3 weeks, and have been working on stretches, jumps, and my toetouches, trying to get those to where they are good enough for tryouts.
that pretty much sums up my last almost month! i just wanted to do a quick check in with you guys.

Breathe<3

Its been a few days since my last post. Lately, i've been busy getting used to my new school, soccer workouts, cheer and such. Its hard i'll admit. I mean, I'm a very social person naturally, but I don't consider myself "friends" with anyone from the new school yet. I think it'll take more than a week to develope a real friendship. I mean, i've had offers to hang, and stuff, but its just i'm still getting used to the new school and everything. There's still a lot of people and faces that I don't recognnize, and I'm sure it'll be like that for awhile. Other than that stuff, I've been a little unsure of my body. Just because of all the workouts and stuff. I'm starting to develope a lot of new muscle too that I'm not used to haveing in certain places now and i dont know if I like it or not yet. I guess its just insecurity right now. And now im just ranting... :].

I hope everyone has a good weekend.


much love always.

xo Lisa Marie

Ahh Boys x3

So, a guy I was really close to decided that our relationship was only physical, and he was too tempted when he was around me and whatnot, so he feels its best to just stop talking. period. and like, we've been close for like, a couple months now, like everyday, whats wrong with this picture?


"Never let a boy build you up with words because the higher your up the harder you fall, and you will fall".

Toetouches<3

I can't get them down, and I'm killing myself over them its driving me crazy.

New School<3

So, I started my new school today. It was good...I mean, It was just...weird not knowing faces, and I guess now I was just used to knowing everybody, or at least everybody knowing me. Obviously its going to take time, and I know eventually, I'll get to know everybody in my grade. It's just...I just have to be patience. I just feel like i've been patient waiting to get back into school, and I just want things to fall into place now again, differently, but soon.


much love always.


<3, Lisa Marie xo

Hope<3

Take a deep breath. There is hope in recovery. We can do this. Anyone struggling with any type of eating disorder... or any type of disorder at all... recovery IS possible. NEVER say NEVER. Because once you tell yourself that, you start believeing that, and that's not going to help yourself or anyone around you. Always know, that there is never a time when you are not loved, and that there is ALWAYS a light at the end of the tunnel. Even though I myself have only seen the dimness of it.

much love always.


<3, Lisa Marie xo